


The Lonely Warrior

by BitterShadow



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Gen, dumb losers sit and talk about their feelings, in heaven, with a bit of meta about angels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-05
Updated: 2015-12-05
Packaged: 2018-05-05 04:05:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5360672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BitterShadow/pseuds/BitterShadow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Takes place right after Lucifer's banishment to the cage and right before Gabriel faked his death. Michael doesn't want to lose anyone else, but he will do whatever his father asks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Lonely Warrior

Michael was alone. Well, he always felt alone. But this time, there was no one to help him ignore that tugging sensation in the back of his mind. No one to talk over the voice in his head whispering his faults. No one for him to comfort, and in turn, comfort himself.

His brother was gone, and it was his fault. He was doing what father asked, and his father knew best. But it was his fault. His little brother, always too scared, too angry, was now gone forever. He was imperfect, but Michael loved him. Did that make Michael a sinner? Could him not wanting to turn his back on his father’s mistake make him disloyal? He couldn't lose his father now. Not now. Not after everything he'd been through. His father was all he had left. He had to stay loyal.

“Mind if I sit?” His thoughts were broken by a voice. He glanced up at the speaker. Gabriel stood, hugging himself and refusing to meet his eyes. Before Michael answered, he sat down, facing the other way. Their shoulders were a breath apart. “Don't waste your breath, I know you well enough by now.”

They sat in silence for a while. Michael didn't mind. In fact, he didn't want Gabriel to talk. He didn't want him to say it was his fault. Or that it wasn't. He didn't want to be reminded of it at all. He wanted his younger brother to simply sit by his side and wait out the storm. That way he could keep him safe. He took in the appearance of Gabriel. He was slightly hunched over, his eyes cast down. He looked unharmed. Physically.

“Mike.” His voice was low. Michael gave a nod.

“Did ya hear? New angels are appearing. They can't feel.” Gabe spoke casually, but he wanted a passionate response. But Michael could not bring himself to feel passionately about anything. 

“So they don't know grief or betrayal.”

“They don't know love or happiness or hope, either.” Gabriel shifted. “Drop the act for a second, please. There's no way you’re okay with that.” It was more of a plea than a statement. He didn't want to believe Michael could ever be okay with something like that. Michael wished he didn't have to disappoint his brother. He wished that Gabe could at least have this, that he could be worth at least a little in his eyes. But right now, Michael wished he couldn't feel at all.

Michael stared at his hands. “Emotions are flaws, Gabriel. Just look at us.”

He didn't say anything after that. This time the silence was suffocating instead of peaceful. Michael never knew what to say, but for once, he wished he did. He wanted to break the tension. But he didn't want a fight. That was the last thing he wanted. But it seemed like all he was good for was starting fights. _After all_ , he thought bitterly, _I am only dad’s warrior._

Eventually Gabriel’s thoughts manifested into quiet words. “Do you...do you think things would've been different if dad actually cared?”

Michael stole another glance at his brother. He sighed. “Don't talk like that, Gabriel. Dad cares. He's just got more important things to worry about right now.”

Gabe balled his hands into fists. “What's more important than his family? What's he doing that's so big he can't help his children? We needed him and he turned his back on us!”

Michael closed his eyes, fighting the urge to embrace him. He didn't want to lose anyone else. He wished he had held Lucifer one last time. But he could not turn his back on the duty his father gave him either. “Gabriel, you're starting to sound like him. Be careful of where you step,” his voice came out cold and unfeeling. That wasn't what he meant, but he knew if he softened up around him it would only end badly. He didn't want to seem supportive of going against Dad. He would never, but Gabriel was a wild card. He didn't want to push him over that edge, or he'd be forced to do away with another one of his kind, another one of his _friends_.

But Gabriel was hurt. He snorted humorlessly. His words came out stinging, “I should've known you wouldn't stand with me. I used to believe in you, you know that?” Michael remained silent. “I looked up to you. You used to fight on my side. On Luci’s side. It was going to be us forever. But you chose an absent father over the brothers who loved you. Now,” Gabriel shook his head. “Now you don't have anyone. You've lost the family you had left.”

Michael breathed slowly, weighing his options. “What did you come here for, Gabriel?”

Gabe stood up, visibly shaking with wild emotions. “I came to see you, asshole! I came to make sure you were okay! I came to remind you why we fight!” Gabriel looked away. “Why we fought.”

He stepped away. For a beat, they were silent. “I'm leaving, Mike. Don't follow me.”

Michael did not move. He could not. And if he could, what would he do? “Where are you going?”

“It doesn't matter. All that matters is I'm not coming back. Not until you remember who you are. Not until you remember who’s always had your back. Spoiler alert; it's not dear ol’ dad.” There was the sound of his wings fluttering. And then he was gone. Michael could chase him down and bring him back. Or he could kill him. That might've been what his father wanted. But for once, he let his thoughts stray from that as he visualized Gabriel, safe and far away from all this madness.

“Run, messenger, run and live to tell your story,” Michael whispered. “Make the world hate the warriors whose hands are stained with the blood of their kin, or make the world pray for them. It doesn't matter, just please make it out of this alive.”


End file.
